ღ♥~* My Sanctuary *~♥ღ

All you ever do is tell me how selfish I am, how everything I do, I do to hurt you. All you ever do is point out all my faults and bad qualities everything you say about me is always negative. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe I was suffering too? Did you even care? 

If I only think of myself I learned it from you. All you ever cared about was your pain and your problems and you still do, it's always been that way before I even met David. I had no one to talk to, no one who cared I was alone and always in my room. I had no friends. I wanted to die but all you cared about was yourself, your problems, in other words me; because that's what I was to you, your problem because I was making you look bad, people thought you were a bad mother because I wasn’t going school and being the perfect daughter you always wanted. It's not my fault that I have issues I have those issues because of you and dad.

All you did and do is make me feel bad about myself, I was depressed all I wanted was someone to make me feel needed and loved. The Joke you sent me about the man who had a bad day and wanted to kill himself and couldn’t even do that right, that’s how I felt when I was living at home no matter how hard I tried I could never please you. I could never do anything right even when I did something good instead of getting praise you'd always point out how I could have done better, nothing was ever enough for you. I was never enough for you.

I felt alone, I wanted to die and you knew that but that was a joke to you, just like my poems and just like my life. All my life is to you is a joke. If you stopped thinking about yourself for just one moment you might stop to consider that I am not doing this to hurt you or to make you feel bad and this is not revenge and I am not trying you get back at you. Maybe you'd consider that what David and I have is real and we love each other.

When I met David I met some who made me feel good about myself, someone who would listen to my problems and not judge me. Someone who would hug me when I'm sad. Even when we fight he comes back and hugs me and tells me that he still loves me even though we don’t always agree. He understands me and loves me for who I am faults and all. That’s all I ever wanted from you. But I guess that was too much to ask for. Maybe the reason I am doing this is to make me feel happy and stop wanting to hurt myself, not to make you unhappy and maybe that's selfish, but wanting me to go back home; to the depressive, unhappy state that I was in just so that you can be happy is selfish too.

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guys say "I love you"
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell
He says "to hell with you"
10 Minutes of pleasure
9 Months of pain
3 days in the hospital
A baby with no name
The baby’s a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never would’ve happened
If the condom hadn’t torn

Sex is a gamble,
Sex is a game;
The guys make the fooling,
The girls take the blame;
One night of pleasure,
Nine months of pain;
Three days in the hospital,
And a baby to name;
It's easy for a guy,
To get a girl against the wall;
And stick up his education,
Increasing the population;
Of a young generation,
The father is a bastard;
The mother is a whore,
Junior wouldn't be born;
If the rubber hadn't torn

No way I'll Survive